Wonderland
by veramo
Summary: I saw his green eyes and tried my hardest to stay away. I fought and fought for years, but in the end we all went mad.


**Strange things did happen here.**

 **The Hanging Tree - James Newton Howard ft. Jennifer Lawrence**

* * *

All I could remember of that night was the smoke. It swirled and caressed the black sky like a lover's hand. The smell was sharp and caused the entire village to cover their faces or risk blackened lungs. I remember feeling it in my chest, causing me to heave and cough for hours on end. My parent's unmoving bodies were covered in the black. It was everywhere and blanketed everything. It dulled the stars and blocked out the moon. The black blanket was unyielding and it seemed endless.

I often dreamt about being strangled by swirling black hands that slowly choked the life out me. It wasn't quite a nightmare, but I still woke up gasping for air like a fish. It usually felt so real, and I couldn't help but welcome the idea of death in my mind. If I actually died, I wouldn't completely abhor the idea save for the fact that Alice would be left alone in the care of our aunt. The dreams only began to scare me when I realized that it was simply a figment of my imagination and I had to return to reality eventually. A reality where I was more oppressed than when I dreamt about being suffocated.

Mornings usually consisted of Merriweather coming to draw back my curtains, adhering to Madam's precise schedule. Awake at seven, dressed by seven-thirty, and downstairs in the hall eating breakfast at eight. Being one minute off schedule received a verbal lashing. Breakfast was drolly eaten, then we were excused for lessons. Nine o'clock was piano, ten-thirty was languages. Twelve-Thirty was lunch in the gardens for an hour until it came time for society lessons taught by Madam herself. Not that you could call them lessons, rather one and a half hours of berating and fixing posture. At a quarter past three Alice was sent to her maths tutor while I was sent to my fencing teacher. Madam believed that I was too pudgy for my own good and forced me into a form of exercise that was still socially acceptable for a "woman of society."

After fencing came an hour of leisure time leading up to dinner at half-past six. This two-hour affair was even more droll than breakfast, except Madam has her society friends join us to further humiliate and berate my sister and I. After the spectacle that is dinner, Alice and I have to spend the rest of our night with Madam in the drawing room while she reads a book about a frightfully boring subject. Often she reads books about local flora and fauna, the economics of the kingdom, or the histories of the kings and queens in the Enchanted Forest. Finally the respite comes when she sends my sister and I, not too kindly, to bed at ten at night. It is here when I finally welcome the dreams of death and release from this existence that fate thrust me into.

It wasn't always this way. I remember my parents with their charming smiles, the horses with their long tan manes, and my childhood friends in the village. Alice was young but not too young to where she doesn't remember the better times, however she has assimilated into our new life at a much better pace than I. I long to run wild in the wheat fields or hide in large hay stacks. I want to take a horse and ride bareback across the plains and through the forest, gaining twigs in my hair and mud on my legs. I pray for a freedom that will never come. Three years in a gilded cage crushes all hope for change.

Anyone on the outside would see a well behaved young woman who is ready to enter the world of the upper-class society even after the tragedies she has seen. They would see fine silks and jewels, well-kept appearances under long brown hair, but lifeless green eyes. After all, all the sparks have been extinguished within me.

* * *

"Annie," snapped the cracking posh voice of Madam. "What is the name of the holdings of Duke Carrington?" It was questions like this that made me want to scream and throw expensive decorations. Madam thought it was a proper idea for me to know all the aristocrats in the area, that way I would know to whom I was speaking to and what significance they had in our little corner in the Enchanted Forest. She often said it was due to my debut coming up in six months, however her snide remarks after made me this less and less of the ordeal. ' _We do this for your entrance into society in six months. Your change from a ragged rat into a golden mare._ ' Calling me and my sister 'rats' was her favorite insult

I stared at her blankly and answered monotonously. Lessons of 'polite society' continued in this fashion for another hour before Madam actually addressed me on a subjects other than who was betrothed to whom.

"Annie dear," she sugarly sweetly drawled, "I hope you know how proud I have been with your progress these last few years." This statement shocked me to the core. For once, there was an emotion in my dull green eyes: surprise. No thinly veiled insult or cheeky innuendo. I was beginning to feel a small spark in my body, perhaps my hard-mannered aunt had a strong change of heart. Perhaps things would look up because this small, simple sentence was the kindest thing I had heard in almost three years.

"You are just a former shadow of the girl that crawled into my house all those months ago. Perhaps at the debut in November we can prove that you are more than a rat simply dressed in finery."

Out went the warm spark. My green eyes lost their shock and turned back to the dark insipid color they once were. I instantly felt cold once more, but at this point used to it.

"Yes Madam." That was all I could say. My voice had long ago lost its chipper tones and was now so soft and low that it could barely be called a whisper. Count Marshall and his insufferable son, Gaston, often called me a mouse because I could barely be heard above the clatter of utensils at my aunt's daily society dinners. Apparently everyone in this corner of hell liked to compare me to vermin.

"Good good darling." Her drawl was low and seductive. Similar to the aura that she tried to give off to her friends in the upper ranks of society. She tried to remain the beautiful and polite widow of my beloved uncle. It seemed to work for those whose snobbery was unbound, but my sister and I saw right through her. "Now, I received word that your fencing instructor would be about half of an hour late to your lessons today. Horrible manners. Bad form. Therefor I told that vapid man that I would allow it just this once, but your lessons will be canceled for the day. If he shows up late once more, I will terminate your lessons."

My heart dropped to my stomach. Monsieur Valle was the only shining part of my day. The eccentric and loony fencing master almost brought out the old Annie. Almost. That girl died a long time ago.

"I understand Madam."

"Well done. I expect to see you and Alice at dinner on the chime. The oldest of Count Marshall's is expecting to see you there. That would be good form my dear." Of course this woman was planning on marrying me off to a rich family. It would be good form for her, but I knew I had no choice

"Yes Madam."

And with that I gracefully walked out of the drawing room, through the halls, down the grand staircase, and through the ornate oak doors. Once those clanged shut behind me, I sprinted in the most unlady-like way towards the stables and through the light May air.

* * *

The month of May always proved to be my favorite. It brought sunlight, flowers, and birds. Everything seemed to be happier outside. Madam had given Alice and I a Sunday off and allowed us to take a well-behaved mare to the fields of flowers outside of the grounds of her extensive manor. The area was freshly in bloom with colors of pink, yellow, and red as far as the eye could see. Trees dotted the fields with their evergreen branches and foliage, while a babbling brooke flowed and created a symphony of sounds. The chirps of birds mixed with the rushing of water created music that put most choirs to shame.

Madam had given me the task of leading Alice's history lesson as a condition to the rare free day we were granted. I saw this as a small price to pay so long as I was allowed to be outside and in the midst of nature. The wild spirit that was my sister currently resided in a shady tree perched on a large branch with her small kitten in her lap. The mare was grazing a few feet away while I rested against the tree on the soft grass. My frilly red dress that Madam dressed me in was splayed all over the dirt, a small victory.

"…leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria declared for him, and even Stigrand-" but I couldn't finish my sentence before a small foot came into my peripheral vision. The own of said foot was weaving a crown of flowers and hardly seemed to be paying attention to her lesson. "Alice!"

"Hm? Oh, I'm listening," she lazily replied, continuing her work and lounging against the tree.

"And even Stigand, the archbishop of Lyon, agree to meet with William and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was-" I was once again interrupted by a circlet of flowers and dropped neatly onto my head. The giggles of my younger sister carried through the fields and seemed to make a mockery of the task I was afforded.

"Alice! Will you kindly pay attention to your history lesson?" I asked exasperated. "You know when we get back Madam will have you quizzed on the content of today's lessons. She may even do so at dinner tonight with our guests." The last thing I wanted was to have my sweet Alice subject to the torment that Madam and her educated company can give. I knew that if she failed to comprehend the lessons today then she would bear the brunt of their ridicule. I could see it now. ' _Alice you wild thing! History is an important lesson. You can't be a ridiculous child anymore and you will now be spending your leisure hour re-reading the lessons for the next two weeks!_ '

"I'm sorry," Alice sighed, "but how can one possibly pay attention to a book with no pictures in it?"

"My sweet sister, there are a great many good books in this world without pictures." I knew Alice was lofty, but I wasn't going to allow her to become the subject of a joke at dinner tonight. Society be damned, my sister would not face that.

"In this world perhaps, but in my world the books would be nothing but pictures."

"Your world? Alice stop this nonsense now!" My frustration was getting the better of me. I wanted to protect her innocence but how could I do so when she was so naive? I was the one who usually took the most of Madam's insults, but Alice wasn't me. She wouldn't be able to take it. She only faced the serious wrath of Madam once after she ripped an expensive dress and was a blubbering mess for two days. "You know what will happen once we return! Now for the last time pay attention!"

"Once more, from the beginning." Alice was quiet and didn't respond so I began to read the tedious book once more. I kept reading about the nobles that came many years before me for what seemed like hours, but was only mere minutes. I looked up from my page to see if Alice was truly paying attention only to be greeted with an empty tree. Alice was gone.

The last two years had resigned me into an emotionless human. The only true emotions I ever showed were frustration and indifference. However at this moment I only felt fear. Fear for my sister and what had happened to her. I didn't think I was too distracted but at this moment I had a deep internal loathing for my failure to watch my sister. I hastily stood and scanned the area around me, running around with my skirts in my hand trying to see my sister's golden hair or ice-blue dress. I kept running through the vast field screaming my sister's name at the top of my lungs, tears beginning to form in my eyes. The mare seemed to be spooked by my screeching but I paid her no mind. I would rather be late and dirty to dinner but have my sister in tow than be on time and clean with my sister nowhere to be found.

"Alice! ALICE!" I kept calling her name, tears streaming down my face and dirt on my stocking. I ran further and further away from the direction of the manor hoping to glimpse my sister. I would give her a severe telling-off then hold her tight and make she swear to never leave me again. I would make her swear she would never leave like our parents.

"ALICE!" I screamed but this time it came out more defeated than worried. I didn't know how long I was running and searching for her, but the sun was far more west than I would have liked it to be. I could tell it was getting late, but I still couldn't find my sister. My lungs burned and my feet ached. My hair was falling out of my bun and I had a rip in my stockings but I couldn't spare a single thought to care. All I needed was Alice.

The sun kept dropping lower and lower on the horizon until dusk rolled around. Madam would be furious, but I couldn't care less. Alice was still gone, and I needed to find my sister before night came. Years ago I wouldn't be worried about my sister being out after dark, but after that one fateful night I always made sure she was safe in Madam's manor. Night was full of terrors and a single, young girl would be susceptible to all kinds of peril. I didn't want to wake up the next morning to my sister's dead body. I was her big sister, and I was supposed to protect her. So far, I have failed.

I kept running and yelling until my voice was raw and my feet burned. Light faded and soon the darkness of night was upon me. The only light I had was the shining of the moon, but even then I couldn't see more than a few feet before me. The air had taken a crisp turn and gooseflesh covered my arms and legs, but I couldn't stop and pay it any mind. I had to keep looking for Alice despite my body telling me I was on the verge of total exhaustion.

For hours I kept searching. It was close to midnight by now and I had a hard time keeping myself upright. I was utterly spent and ready to collapse. I didn't even know where I was. Was I far from the manor? Was I right outside the grounds? My mind and body were too tired to even form a proper answer to those questions. I kept blindly moving through forests and fields searching for Alice. I was moving deeper and deeper into the darkness catching dirt and twigs until suddenly I felt myself falling.

The first second I thought I was just collapsing from exhaustion. I closed my eyes and braced myself to feel the cold hard ground meet me, but I kept feeling myself fall. I opened my eyes and saw that was freefalling through a simmering dark hole. It looked like I was falling through a well that was lined with black velvet and diamonds. Everything was sparkling before me. If I wasn't openly plummeting, I would have thought the whole thing beautiful. I kept moving deeper and deeper into the abyss for what felt like hours. I had braced myself to feel the eventual crashing bottom, welcoming my fate at the end. Like my dreams of smoke, I accepted the inevitable. I failed to find and protect Alice, and this was my punishment.

I kept falling until I hit a cold, soft surface. I lay there stunned for a minute or two then I welcomed the blackness that crept into my mind.

* * *

My senses slowly came back to me. I woke up I felt something tickling my sore body and I tasted acid in my mouth. Then I smelled flowers, fragrant and sweet. Afterwards I began to hear whispers and giggles, and finally I opened my eyes to see towering flowers of every color. They looked like normal flowers while my vision adjusted but once everything became clearer I realized where the whispers and giggles were coming from. The flowers all had faces, and they were all staring at me.

"Ah she awakes!" exclaimed a large red rose. Her face was peaking through soft petals and looked kindly, almost like a grandmother. She rose about four feet above me on a vibrant green stem with sharp looking leaves that moved like arms.

"What is she though?" asked a sullen and posh looking Iris. She held a monocle and reminded me a lot of Madam with her snobbery and judgmental aura. The iris was beautiful and properly postured like there was a stack of books upon her purple head.

"She looks like a bug!" cried a white lily.

"Where did she come from?" asked a pink tulip.

"The sky opened up and spit her out," said a simple daisy.

The flowers kept crying out, causing my already aching head to pound. The shrillness of the voices caused me to clasp my hands over my ears in an attempt to drown them out. I was still lying on the grass covered ground and I didn't want to move a single muscle.

"Ladies, ladies!" called the great red rose. "Let's all calm down and politely welcome out guest." She looked down at me and I met her red eyes. They were warm and accepting, not scary like I thought they would be when talking to a giant animated rose. "Now dearie, lets start by getting you off the ground." She held out a large green leaf, gesturing me to take it. I hesitated for a moment, contemplating the position I was in. I was a tiny human, surrounded by a plethora of giant flowers. I must have hit my head hard because this was one peculiar dream. Afterall, what else could it be? This was a dream, nothing more. I slowly raised my hand and placed it in her large leaf. It felt warm and rough when it enclosed my tiny hand and helped to lift me from the ground. The air was fresh and clean, with a slight fragrance that only flowers could give off. This was a very vivid dream indeed.

"Up you come," she said sweetly, but not sticky-sweet like Madam. This rose was more kind and welcoming, a maternal figment of my imagination that I created to emulate my grandmother in this strange dream of mine. "Do you know how you got here? To us, you seemed to have fallen from the sky."

I looked up at the clear blue sky and contemplated an answer, the only thing that came to mind was the fact that this was clearly all in my head. I simply looked at the rose and shrugged a simple "I don't know." I would play along and play dumb. I couldn't do much until I woke anyway. I wanted to write down everything I was seeing and experiencing right now. Hopefully Alice would like the story.

Alice.

My stomach plummeted. I had almost forgotten about my missing sister. I needed to wake up as soon as possible and continue searching for her. I got a crazed look in my eye and began to pinch the skin on my arm hard. The flowers were looking at me with worried and scared expressions, probably thinking that I had gone mad. I had to get out of my mind and protect my sister, I couldn't waste time sleeping and dreaming of eight feet tall flowers.

"What is she doing?" the iris whispered to the rose. The latter looked at me with concern and moved to grasp my arm that I was pinching, but I hastily scrambled out of her reach. In my attempt to get away from the grandmother-like flower, I tripped over a root and fell flat on my bottom into a puddle of mud. Some of the flowers snickered at my fumble but the rose had an even more worried expression on her red face. I felt the dirty slop all around me as it squished between my fingers and soaked into my already ruined dress. I was cold and I began to shiver as it chilled my skin. Tears sprung to my eyes as I stared helplessly at my bent knees. I needed to wake up, but I seemed to be stuck in this lucid dream.

"Sweetling, what is wrong?" asked the rose, concern etched all over her soft, petaled face.

I lifted my gaze to stare deeply into her warm eyes once more. I held her gaze for a moment before I could find the strength to use my voice. "I need to find my sister, I need to wake up from this dream." It barely came out, but the rose heard me. Confusion played over her face.

"Darling, this isn't a dream. This is real. You fell out of the sky into my garden," she said with sympathy in her voice.

I held her gaze for a long time, unblinking and forgetting to breathe. Surely she was joking? My mind is playing tricks on me. I lifted my muddy hand and attempted to give myself one last pinch, but nothing happened and I stared at the ground in defeat. I stayed in my position, sitting in mud surrounded by giant flowers. Tears flowed freely down my face as I felt all fight leave me. I kept whispering my sister's name like a prayer as if saying it would miraculously bring her to me. I felt a strong leaf wrap around my upper arm and pull me to my feet. The mud was sliding off my legs and dress into the ground around me. I still felt cold, but on the inside I was numb. I didn't know where I was and I didn't know how to get home. Worst of all I still didn't know where Alice was. I had failed myself, my parents, and my sister.

"Where am I?" I asked when I was firmly planted on the ground. My voice was a whisper and I wasn't able to lift my eyes to look at any of the flowers around me. I was too ashamed.

"You are in Wonderland, girl. In the Garden of the Living," came the snarky reply of the iris. I wasn't looking at her, but I could imagine her judgmental eyes and suspicion filled face.

I slowly looked up to meet the eyes of the rose who was still staring at me with a kind face. "Wonderland?" I whispered to her, rolling the name around in my mouth. It felt strange and foreign and I had never heard of such a place. It sounded delightful, but I wasn't able to feel anything but shame and regret.

"Yes, Wonderland my dear. We are the flowers of the Garden, and you fell right into our midst," she said kindly.

"How?" I whispered once more.

"You fell from a hole in the sky!" screeched the daisy. "I was all a rather remarkable experience!"

Shock began to creep up behind the shame I was feeling. I fell from a hole in the sky? How am I still alive right now? What was this place? All these questions weren't answered as my body and mind went into overdrive. I felt the blood rushing in my ears and I began to shake as sobs racked my body. Adrenaline coursed through me and I felt like I could run a hundred miles. My feet began to move before I could even comprehend what I was doing, but I felt the wind whip through my matted hair and I knew I was running through the garden and away from the giant flowers.

* * *

Hours of stumbling through the garden and I came upon a high wall and golden gate. I took the footpath that lead from the garden into a small village about five miles down a hill. This village was bustling with activity and was relatively lively. A large market was set up in the center of this provincial town and people were moving quickly from stall to stall. Alice would have loved this. The thought of her still stung, and my defeat hung heavy on me. Thankfully no one seemed to notice girl in dirty ripped tights and a muddy silk dress with tear tracks all over her dirty face. The wetness clung to my skin and made me shiver despite the warm weather, and I knew I had to get a new change of clothes as soon as possible before night fell and it got colder.

As I wandered through the large market, I felt lost and hopeless. I had no money and very little possessions on me. When I came up to a clothing stall, I was able to trade my two golden hair pins for a pair of soft brown breeches and a loose white cotton shirt. Although it was hard to part with them, I had to get out of my sopping dress. The stall keeper was willing to trade my ruined dress for a pair of soft leather boots. She claimed she would be able to salvage the clean silk patches, and I didn't question her generosity nor the look of pity in her eyes. Once I was out of my unfortunate ensemble and in fresh clothing, I felt a small inkling better. I was able to swipe a small leather string from a crowded stall to tie my dirty hair back, but I knew that I would be in need of a bath as soon as possible.

I ventured to the edge of the town and slowly surveyed the forest that bordered it. Before I had come to Madam's I was well versed on how to survive on the land alone. My mother left all the riches of her family behind to marry a poor farmer who had little to his name. We were in poverty, but my family was happy. I felt a large pain in my heart at the thoughts of them. I had lost my parents three years ago, and now at the age of sixteen I had lost my sister. I even felt a bit of grief for the loss of my aunt, who was after all still family. I fingered the small gold locket around my neck and I couldn't help but wish for my life to reverse and send me back to a happier time and place.

But at this moment, I couldn't survive on wishing. I had come to the realization that I could only survive here if I was strong. I had shame and guilt blanketing my body, but I would bring more shame to my family if I died and didn't attempt to keep living no matter how warmly I would welcome death. I would keep looking for Alice even if it killed me. Something told me that she had come to Wonderland and I would trek every single inch of this realm until I found my sister.

I steeled myself and my resolved hardened around me. I glanced back at the town and then back at the forest. The sun was setting and I knew I had to find shelter so I would be strong enough tomorrow to begin my search. I walked straight into the forest and found a tree with a hallowed out bottom. I deemed this my temporary shelter, laid myself down, fell into a dreamless sleep, and mentally prepared myself for what the next day would bring.

* * *

AN: I updated this chapter. I originally had it all cut in two, but I decided to shorten the story from 45 chapters to 21 chapters. Read and review!


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